Tribute to Richard
Richard was an enthusiastic participant in life taking every opportunity that came his way full on, so it is important that through this immense sadness and disbelief that we feel, we remember his zest for the adventures of life, his laughter, his warmth, his smile and the kindness that radiated from him. He has left behind a legacy of commitment and involvement, particularly in the heart of the sporting communities which were a big part of his short life, which will live on forever in the lives of his loved ones
Kind, caring, a fun loving character, a true gentleman, a top bloke, a legend; these are all qualities seen in recent tributes to Richard that he would have held in high esteem and which came naturally to him throughout his lifetime. From a young boy Richard was always a people person and from an early age would always greet people on the doorstep with “Hello, my name’s Richard, who are you?” that welcome even extended to the meter man.
He was an intelligent, energetic, determined, and committed young man as is borne out by the range and extent of his achievements. In such a short time he has made a tangible impression in the world of rugby, and beyond, and was well known for his passion, drive, dedication and focus. Everyone in his tight knit industry are today mourning the loss of a loyal, inspirational leader, and a wise and willing confidant. His special quality was as an adventurous, eager spirit. Whatever the event, whatever the challenge, he was always there in full force, whether on or off the field.
Not only was Richard an accomplished rugby player he was a guide to other youngsters and believed that everyone had potential – a true clubman. So, today, although we are all feeling incredibly sad we also give thanks for a life that is to be truly celebrated.
Richard was born in Shoreham on 20th August 1985, 1 of 3 children born to parents Gordon and Janet and a big brother to Chris and Lizzie.
A family move to Waterlooville when Richard was one was followed by periods of schooling at Stakes Hill first school, Purbrook middle school and Purbrook Park School. He was an astute pupil both academically and practically. Good with words he quickly moved through the various reading schemes and continued to read avidly throughout his life, in particular books that fired his imagination or appealed to his well developed, and sometimes silly, sense of humour. He was especially fond of the works of Terry Pratchett, Bernard Cornwell, Robert Jordan and George RR Martin. From an early age he showed a keen interest in sport and from the age of 5 was duly taken along to Havant Rugby club and started playing in the mini and junior set-up there, eventually moving on through to the Academy aged 17. Although he was particularly small for the sport, especially during adolescence, he always ‘punched well above his weight’ and never ducked a tackle. These principles also applied to his life in general. In the years ahead, Richard moved on to senior men’s rugby, first at Havant RFC, then Warwick University, and, after moving to the area, next played for Bracknell RFC. More recently he has played for Farnham RFC, where he was recently appointed 2nd Team Captain for the 2018-19 season. Anyone that played rugby with Richard will know he had a deep love, and knowledge, of the game and a total commitment to the clubs he had played for. His other sporting participation has included football, tennis, swimming, surfing, triathlon, dragon boat racing, athletics and, of course, cycling. He also developed a love of the great outdoors from his years of involvement in the Beavers, Cubs and Scouts at 1st Purbrook. He would be overwhelmed to know that all of you associated with these activities had turned up today, just for him, together with other friends from all aspects of Richard’s life; including school and university friends, with whom he shared a very special bond, also colleagues from BAE Systems and the associated companies, with whom Richard worked. All are united by wearing something in his favourite colour of Red.
Whether Richard ever realised it or not, his life has clearly touched many others and left a lasting impression, which has been evident in the mountain of cards and heartfelt messages his family have received, these have brought great comfort to them all at this sad time in their lives. I have no doubt that all of you who were fortunate enough to have met Richard along life’s pathway are far richer for having known him.
Away from rugby Richard had forged a good career with BAE Systems, where he was a popular and well-respected member of the submarine team. Having left school to complete his A levels at Havant College, Richard went on to graduate from Warwick University with a First- class masters degree in mechanical engineering and very quickly found himself on the graduate apprentice programme with BAE as a systems engineer. Initially working on the Astute class submarine, before moving on to the Successor program, and more recently becoming Engineering Manager for all above water systems. Although most of what he did was covered by the Official Secrets Act he has been described by his colleagues as a brilliant engineer, an “Oracle of information” and a pillar of support, we believe that he has made design innovations that will live on as his legacy in the UK’s nuclear submarine fleet for many, many years to come.
Those of you who knew Richard well, knew him as someone who was the epitome of life itself. No one more so than Richard’s wife Hayley. The deep love and affection they had for one another was obvious to anyone who had met them – “never have I seen a couple more in love” was one recent observation.
They first met at the wedding of their respective school friend’s having challenged one another to an air guitar competition on the dance floor, and the rest they say is history. In 2015 they bought a home together in Ash, Aldershot. One year later followed a proposal of marriage and within 5 days they had planned their entire wedding, held in June last year, the most wonderful, most beautiful day of their lives, not only for each other, but for those closest to them.
They were not only best friends, but true soulmates. Richard treated Hayley like a princess and she him like a superhero. I’m sure you all know what a massive geek Richard was, with his love of Marvel and DC comics, and the subsequent movies, the fantasy battle game Warhammer was a passion, especially during his teenage years, when he also started playing Halo and Call of Duty on his X-Box at every given opportunity (although, after setting up house with Hayley, I’m told he had to do the household chores first). His fascination with the little plastic building bricks, Lego began at a young age, Richard graduated from Duplo to building small Lego sets and quickly built up a large collection of bricks. After a visit to HMS Alliance at the submarine museum in Gosport, aged about 6, he came home and built a model submarine from memory – a sign of his future career?
The spare room in his and Hayley’s home, known as the geek room, was dedicated to superheroes and packed with all the Star Wars Lego models that Richard could fit in. They had visited Legoland together and earlier this year made it to the Lego shop in Copenhagen I’m sure for Richard it was his childhood dream come true. No wonder children adored and loved him as he was always on their wavelength and his undisputed knowledge, from an early age, of all things dinosaur related was an education to anyone who happened to be in his company. You can imagine how much he loved the Jurassic Park movies – He would probably have seen Jurassic World 2-3 times by now!
Richard’s personal life was lived with the same passion as his professional life. He loved being out in the great outdoors clocking up many miles on his bike and having the occasional football kick about. He had also enjoyed watching WWF wrestling, NFL Football and Tour de France cycling and had a wide appreciation of music – some tracks of which are being played here today in his memory especially by his favourite band Metallica, who he'd seen play live several times at gigs and festivals across Europe.
After little interest in food during his early years he became an excellent cook and could conjure up gourmet dishes such as Roast Guinea Fowl and Lamb Wellington with confidence, but his baking skills were never really honed and, when attempting a birthday cake for Hayley, let him down, as after putting the cake in the oven he turned around to see the eggs still on the worktop. Rich was also good when it came to providing the drinks for a special occasion, he appreciated good wine and especially beers, he was a proud club member of what he would call 'his local' - the Tongham Tea Club at the Hogs Back Brewery – handy it was within ‘walking’ distance of his home!
Richard’s greatest strength was that he unfailingly placed the needs of others above his own and there was never a favour passed up or a request turned down should anyone need his help. He was a very caring brother towards his siblings and, later, to Hayley’s family. As a child he loved nothing more than being in the company of both sets of his grandparents, and often stayed with Joyce & Fred in Balham, taking the London red bus, or the underground to visit many of the capital’s attractions. One of the highlights of Richards visits to London, was seeing the aviation icon that was Concorde flying overhead most evenings. Whether it was a trip to the Natural History Museum that instigated Richard’s love of dinosaurs from an early age, but Richard, for a while, had a dinosaur themed bedroom and could often be seen more recently wearing his dinosaur socks. He was never self-conscious. Even on a stag weekend, planned on a canal boat, when he was told to turn up in pirate fancy dress, Richard went above and beyond (as he usually did with fancy dress) to pull together an ace Jack Sparrow outfit and then drove 100 miles in it only to find out it was a prank and he was the only one actually in fancy dress, but he saw the funny side, as he did with most things, possessing a good sense of humour.
I know meeting Hayley was the best thing that had ever happened to Richard and together in such a short time have shared many wonderful memories. From their honeymoon to Costa Rica to a holiday in Canada, and Richard’s 30th birthday trip to Woolaton Hall in Nottingham, used as a location in the Batman movie, “The Dark Knight Rises”, which Richard was beyond excited about. Having his photograph taken outside Batman’s house and then in the nearby village of Gotham were just some of the many visual diaries of unforgettable memories that Hayley will treasure, as were the many social events and holidays they enjoyed with friends and family. Their motto in their life together was “to go out and live life to the full”, and that they did.
I can’t help but feeling that Richard would want to leave you with that same message, as we are all too well aware, tomorrow may be too late! For some that might mean you should not put off what you want to do in life. For some, give more of yourselves to others like he did. For some, not to take life too seriously, because you never know how brief it might be. For others, to take life more seriously because it is so fragile. And then someday looking back you will see Richard's memory, not as it is today – a tear filled cloud – but as a beautiful light on your horizon, giving your lives an extra Richness and dimension of meaning.